"An important part of our children's lives are the finding ads published by their orphanage. The finding ads are important for two reasons: First, since they are published within a few months of finding, they represent the earliest tangible proof of our children's lives, pre-dating all of the adoption paperwork we receive at adoption. Second, the photographs contained in the finding ads are earlier than any other photos a family will receive during the adoption process."
"Since 1999, the orphanages in China are required to run a provincial newspaper advertisement for children that are found and brought to their orphanage. We call them "Finding Ads." These ads contain information about where and when the children were found and which orphanage is caring for them. Originally these were text-only ads, but most provinces now include photographs in their ads. These photographs are usually the earliest available pictures of the children, some from as young as a few weeks old."
I had no idea that this was part of the whole adoption experience for our wee one. The reality for our daughter will be that her natural birth family left her somewhere so that she would be found safe and sound and start her life in a SWI, in hopes that she would one day have a forever family. I do not condemn these birth families. There are so many reasons that could lead to their ultimate and life altering decision. I cannot imagine the emotions and personal struggle that it takes one to give up their child in the hope that the child might have a better life...life at all in some circumstances.
Lately I have struggled with knowing that there will come a day when our daughter will have so many questions about her birth family. And the unfortunate reality is that we won't have any answers. It tears me apart that she may grow up feeling like she doesn't belong, doesn't have roots that she can search for. I struggle in that she may not have a sibbling to grow up with, and that one day she may be totally alone. And we will contribute to the creation of that destiny.
My only true wish in life is that I can be a good parent. That I can be enough. That I can be truthful, and do my best to help our daughter through the time in her life that she needs to know who she is, where she came from. I can't sugar coat the reality. But maybe I can cushion the inevitable hurt that she may feel. But she needs to understand the reasons that may have led her to being given up. in all likelihood, we will never know the reasons. We can only guess. I choose to believe that her birth family will never forget her. I choose to believe that it was a gut wrenching, heart breaking decision for them. And I hope that they will know in their hearts that Darren and I will give their birth daughter nothing but love. Nothing but love. Forever.
