Who's that looking back at me...

Who do you see looking back at you in the mirror? Take a good long look. Is it the person you thought you would be? How did I get to this place?

There has been a lot of "shoulda, woulda, coulda" going on in my head lately. I should have worked harder in school...and then I would have had more options open to me...and then I could have made different choices. We are the masters of our on destinies, aren't we?

If I had it to do all over again. Hmmm. Would I really want to do it all over again? Let's face it, the teenage years aren't always the most fun. But hindsight is 20/20. If I think about it, and be truely honest, I could have been a good student. I just didn't have any interest in what was going on academically. I could have applied myself, but it was easier to do the bare minimum to get by. I covered it up by convincing myself that I just wasn't smart enough.

Science, math...oooo, at the time it all seemed above my head. Now, I wish that I had worked harder at understanding it. Because there are avenues in life/career that I would have loved to have pursued if only I had taken the time. Hey young people, are you taking note?

And now I find myself at a point of...I don't know how to describe it really. Indecision. Restlessness. Wishing that I could stop time for a moment so that I can figure things out. Wanting more out of life. Needing a purpose.

I look at the rest of the fam. They have all got it figured out, or so it seems. They are smart, productive, motivated and apply themselves. They know what their passions are. How does it come so easily to some? I'm not talking about having a golden horseshoe or anything like that. They just seem to have always had their S*&t together.

And maybe that is just it. I need to find my passion. I think that is one of the hardest things to answer. How do you find that passion?